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Jessica Talks To Crazies – Kind Of Illegal Edition!

08 Aug

RING

RING

RING

Me: Thank you for calling [Jessica’s Work].  This is Jessica.

Him: Hiiiii.  Yeah, I’m going to be by in half an hour or so, and I just need to pick up some signs.

Me: I’m sorry, who is this?

Him: Jeff.

Me: Are you one of our sellers, Jeff?

Him: Oh, no, no.

Me: So…uh.  Which signs do you need exactly?

Him: I just want some ‘For Sale’ signs that I can put in my front yard to sell my house.

Me: Oh, I’m sorry, I think you might be confused…we don’t sell those kinds of materials here.  We’re a company of real estate agents…it’s like a consulting company.  You might try looking at Home Depot.

Him: No, I’m not trying to buy a sign.  I just want to borrow it.  I’ll bring it back when the home sells.

Me: We don’t really do that here.  I’m sorry.  I think buying one will be your best bet.

Him: I don’t want the signs they have at Home Depot.  I want a [Jessica’s Work] sign.  When people see For Sale By Owner signs they think they can lowball you.  I’ve done this before.  I’ll bring it back after I sell the house.  I’ll be by in about half an hour.

Me: Sir…hang on.  Are you looking to list your property with us?  I forward you over to [Jessica’s Boss] and you can talk about listing your property with [Jessica’s Work].

Him: No, I told you.  I don’t want to list with you.  I’m selling my own house.  I just need to borrow a sign.  I like the ones with [Jessica’s Boss]’s face on it.

Me: I’m afraid I can’t give you one of those signs unless you’re listing with us.

Him: It’s not like you have to do anything.  It’s free advertising for you.  You should want to do it.

Me: No, I’m pretty sure it’s…against some kind of regulation to do that.

(Pause)

Him: Well, you’re probably new here.  I do this all the time.  I have a bunch of rental properties here.  I borrow signs from [Jessica’s Boss] all the time.

Me: Why don’t I forward you to her and you two can discuss it.

Him: No, that’s not necessary.  I’ll just pick up the signs in about half an hour.

Me: As I said, sir, I don’t believe I can give you any of our signs unless you’re listing with us.

Him: I’m telling you, I do this all the time.

Me: You may be thinking of another office then.

Him: NO, it’s [Jessica’s Boss]’s signs!  I talked with someone last uh last week and they let me take one.  They were really glad about the free advertising.

Me: Who let you take one?

Him: The other girl working there.

Me: I’m the only girl working here, sir.

*CLICK*

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2 Comments

Posted by on August 8, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

2 responses to “Jessica Talks To Crazies – Kind Of Illegal Edition!

  1. Alexandra

    August 8, 2011 at 5:12 pm

    now that’s a good one! you should submit this to [the customer is] notalwaysright.com

     
    • Shannon

      August 9, 2011 at 10:21 pm

      that was the first thing that came to mind for me!

       

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