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shark vacuum

28 Feb

At my parent’s house, in the fairly early morning.  Mom is reading the newspaper.  Dad is still asleep.  Taylor has gone off to do whatever it is that Taylor does in the early mornings.

Mom: “You can change the channel if you want.  Here…what do you want to watch?”

Me: “Dunno.  Scroll down.  Uhhh…there’s MSNBC.  We could watch the news.  Oh!  Spanish soap operas.  Nice.  We could watch some Spanish soaps, or as they call them, lavar espanol.

Mom: “Ha!  I think I’ll pass.  Maybe that show is on TLC.  The clothes show.”

Me: “What Not To Wear?”

Mom: “Yeah, maybe it’s on.  Do they play it on Sundays?”

Me: “Maybe.  It’s possible that OH OH OH OH!”

Mom: “What?”

Me: “Scroll back up!  BACK UP!  Riiiight….there! There is a show called Shark Vacuum.  That is the show we should watch.

Mom: “Shark Vacuum? Where…oh!  There is a show called Shark Vacuum.  My goodness.”

Me: “TURN IT ON TURN IT ON.”

Mom: “I guarantee you that it isn’t what you think it is.”

Me: “What?  Why?  What do you think I think it is?”

Mom: “I would guess…a shark that vacuums, or a vacuum that sucks up sharks.”

Me: “That is precisely what I think it is, and that is why we need to watch it.”

Mom: “Okaaay, if you really want…”

TV: “…why we’ve gotta put a limit on these today!  They’re gonna sell fast, I promise you, so get your phone ready!  Gosh, I tell ya, Marlene, I was really surprised by this fine product.  It’ll clean up crumbs, it’ll clean up spills, it’s just voracious!  That’s why they call it the Shark, huh?  Hahaha!”

Me: “Oh.”

Mom:  “I’m sorry.”

Me: “No…no, it’s okay.  Let’s just watch Cats 101 again.”

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5 Comments

Posted by on February 28, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

5 responses to “shark vacuum

  1. Jen

    February 28, 2011 at 7:58 am

    They actually NAME infomercial segments for TV guides now?

     
  2. supesukauboi

    February 28, 2011 at 1:41 pm

    My guess would have been a discovery channel special about the decreasing shark population and the explosion of lesser fish’s numbers due to the expanding “shark vacuum”.

    Sad thing? I know several people that would have been equally excited about the informercial.

     
  3. MK

    February 28, 2011 at 7:53 pm

    I would buy a vacuum that looked like a shark. I hate vacuuming, but that would make it funny, therefore fun.

    I need a shark-shaped vacuum.

    See? Advertising. All about creating a need where none existed before.

     
  4. Julia B

    February 28, 2011 at 9:31 pm

    This EXACT same thing happened to me. It was a sore disappointment. Who names a vacuum after a shark?! Sharks don’t suck stuff up. They should call it a Sturgeon Vacuum. Or maybe a Plecostomus Vacuum. Catchy and scientifically accurate!

     
  5. Jerry

    February 28, 2011 at 10:05 pm

    Well now I’m disappointed, too. I was expecting something in the vein of a Sci-Fi Channel Original Movie, possibly about a biomechanical shark grafted to a vacuum somehow.

    …I need to make a phone call. And also get over not wanting to call it Syfy.

     

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