equally likely

07 Feb

Me: “I need a word.”

Taylor: “Sulphates.”

Me: “No, I mean, a specific word.  I’m trying to edit this-”

Taylor: “Coronation.”

Me: “No, I’m trying to edit this guy’s manu-”

Taylor: “Walnut.”

Me: “No, wait.  I’m editing this guy’s manuscript, and he said here that the king-”

Taylor: “Feckless.”

Me: “-the king was ‘pierced through with betrayal’, which is good, because-”

Taylor: “Whimsical.”

Me: “-because it’s a little more visceral than the stuff he’s got so far, but it-”

Taylor: “Pepperoni.”

Me: “…”

Taylor: “Okay.  I’m sorry.  Go on.”

Me: “…”

Taylor: “…”

Me: “Okay…so…uh…it’s good, but it doesn’t quite-”

Taylor: “MONOPOLY.”


Taylor: “No, really.  Sorry.  Sorry.  I’m done.  I’m really done.  Go on.  I’m sorry.”

Me: “Are you sure?”

Taylor: “Yes.  I’m positive.”

Me: “Okay.  Uh, where was…it just doesn’t quite translate.  I’m trying to give him an example of something a little more abstract that gives a better sense of the depth of the tragedy.  I’m thinking something like, he was ‘pierced with sharp, hot betrayal’ or ‘sharp…something’ betrayal.  Maybe terrible betrayal.  I don’t know.  I need a word.”

Taylor: “Oh.  Uh.  I don’t know.”

Me: “You don’t have any idea?”

Taylor: “Sorry.”

Me: “You have zero words for me.”

Taylor: “Zero.”

And this is why in ten years we will be married to each other, or we will have murdered each other.


Posted by on February 7, 2011 in Uncategorized


2 responses to “equally likely

  1. Sally

    February 7, 2011 at 10:52 am

    You two are a lot like me and Husband Mike. Except funnier. And possibly more energetic.

  2. Jen

    February 8, 2011 at 10:32 pm

    Imagine what will happen when he tries to write his vows!


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