19 Jan

Taylor: He had some terrible name…I can’t remember it.  Ahhh…what was it?

Me: Milton?  Norman?  Francis?

Taylor: No, no.  It was a weird name.  It was something like…um…like maybe…Dilnus.



Me: Dilnus? What?  What the hell kind of name is Dilnus?

Taylor: I don’t know!  That’s not the guy’s name.  It’s just something like Dilnus.  Auugh, I wish I could remember-

Me: No, no.  Dilnus is awesome.  That is hilarious.  Hilarious.  We are naming our first child Dilnus.  End of discussion.

Taylor: Haha! “Oh, our sweet baby…Dilnus.”

Me: Or, no, wait, no.  We will get a dog, and we will name it Dilnus.  Dilnus is the best name I have ever heard for a dog.


Me: Haha, oh god!  That is the best thing!


Me: It works so well, because if we have a completely stupid dog named Dilnus, it will be hilarious.

Taylor: “Herp de derp, it’s meeee, Dilnus!”

Me: And if we have a brilliant dog, like, a German Shepard that is way too smart for its own good, and we name it Dilnus…

Taylor: Like, if he was smart enough to hate us for the name that we gave on him.

Me: We’d be all, “Fetch, Dilnus!  Come on!  Fetch!  Fetch the stick!” and he would just give us this long withering look.

Taylor: “Please, God, let me choke on my kibble today.”

Me: “Aw, Dilnus, you so silly!”

Taylor: “My life is a pit of humiliation and shame.  Signed, Dilnus.”

Me: “Dilnus, quit reading the Wall Street Journal and come eat this chicken fat I dropped on the floor.”

Taylor: AMAZING.  We will have this dog someday.

Me: A dog named Dilnus.

Taylor: We are terrible people.


Posted by on January 19, 2011 in Uncategorized


6 responses to “dilnus

  1. Sally

    January 19, 2011 at 12:17 pm

    When you invite me over, I expect ALL conversation to be this hilarious. I’m just saying, Jess. False expectations.

  2. Katie

    January 19, 2011 at 12:19 pm

    The Rocket Scientist and I have a list of names like that. Our dog will be named Schrodinger (for the obvious physics hilarity) but we keep threatening to call our first child Nabby. It’s gotten so common that while other people refer to an unborn baby as “the bump” or “peanut,” etc., I’m going to end up calling my belly Nabby.

  3. Gramma

    January 19, 2011 at 9:13 pm

    …Squirrell !!

  4. Molly

    January 20, 2011 at 1:46 pm

    I have a cat named Wumpus. Luckily for all involved, he’s about as smart as a bar of soap.

  5. Vanessa

    January 23, 2011 at 8:35 pm

    Oh Jesus Christ. Dilnus? That’s so amazing and terrible. I want to name a future pet Tufte after the actual last name of a guy who wrote an article about Powerpoint that I read in a Comm class. I just thought it sounded more like a furry little animal’s name than a person.

    I greatly dislike animal names that are people names. Like Todd. You do not name your dog Todd.

  6. Jules

    January 24, 2011 at 4:07 am

    hahaha, hilarious
    our rabbit spawned so many babies that we ran out of decent names for them. in the end we had to resort to things like “gin” and “tonic”.


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