Taylor: He had some terrible name…I can’t remember it. Ahhh…what was it?
Me: Milton? Norman? Francis?
Taylor: No, no. It was a weird name. It was something like…um…like maybe…Dilnus.
Me: Dilnus? What? What the hell kind of name is Dilnus?
Taylor: I don’t know! That’s not the guy’s name. It’s just something like Dilnus. Auugh, I wish I could remember-
Me: No, no. Dilnus is awesome. That is hilarious. Hilarious. We are naming our first child Dilnus. End of discussion.
Taylor: Haha! “Oh, our sweet baby…Dilnus.”
Me: Or, no, wait, no. We will get a dog, and we will name it Dilnus. Dilnus is the best name I have ever heard for a dog.
Taylor: “GOD DAMMIT DILNUS, I TOLD YOU NOT TO POOP THERE.”
Me: Haha, oh god! That is the best thing!
Me: It works so well, because if we have a completely stupid dog named Dilnus, it will be hilarious.
Taylor: “Herp de derp, it’s meeee, Dilnus!”
Me: And if we have a brilliant dog, like, a German Shepard that is way too smart for its own good, and we name it Dilnus…
Taylor: Like, if he was smart enough to hate us for the name that we gave on him.
Me: We’d be all, “Fetch, Dilnus! Come on! Fetch! Fetch the stick!” and he would just give us this long withering look.
Taylor: “Please, God, let me choke on my kibble today.”
Me: “Aw, Dilnus, you so silly!”
Taylor: “My life is a pit of humiliation and shame. Signed, Dilnus.”
Me: “Dilnus, quit reading the Wall Street Journal and come eat this chicken fat I dropped on the floor.”
Taylor: AMAZING. We will have this dog someday.
Me: A dog named Dilnus.
Taylor: We are terrible people.