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customer service

27 Oct

RING.

RING.

RING.

RING.

*CLICK*

“Hi, this is the Electronics department.”

“Oh, hey.  I’m looking for the 25th Anniversary edition of Back To The Future.  The trilogy.  On Blu-ray.”

“Uh.  I dunno if we have that.”

“Well, could you check?”

“Okay.”

*CLICK*

…could have been a handle.  The way you swept me off my feet, you know you could have been a broom.  The way you smell so sweet, you know you could have been some perfume.  We-e-e-e-e-e-ell, you could have be-e-e-en anything that you wa-a-anted to…and I can te-e-e-e-ell…the way you do the things you do!

“Uh, hello?  Are you still checking?”

“As pretty as you are, you know you could have been a flower. Your good looks was a minute, you know you could have been an hour. The way you stole my heart, you know you could have been a cuckoo. And baby you’re so smart, you know you could have been a schoolbook. We-e-e-e-e-e-ell, you could have be-e-e-en anything that you wa-a-anted to…and I can te-e-e-e-ell…the way you do the things you do!  The way you do the things you do!  The way you do the things you do!  The way you do the things you do!”

*CLICK*

“Oh, hi, thank goodness.  Do you have Back To The Future?”

“Look at meee….I will never pass…for a perfect bride, or a perfect daughter.  Can it beee…I’m not meant to play this paaaart?  Now I seee…that if I were truly to be myself, I would break my family’s heart.  Whoooo is that girl I seee? Staring straight…back at meee…why is my reflection someone Iiiii…don’t knoooow…”

“AUGH.”

“Soooomehoooow I cannot hiiiide…who I am…though I’ve tried…when will my reflection shoooow…who i am…insiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide?  When will my reflec-“

*CLICK*

RING

RING

RING

RING

*CLICK*

“Hi, this is the Electronics Department.”

“Oh, uh…hi…I was just talking to a guy who was going to see if you had-”

“Oh, that was me.  Yeah, we don’t have Indiana Jones.”

“Actually, I was looking for Back To The Future.  You know, the big 25th Anniversary Blu-Ray release?”

“Uh.  Hmm.  I dunno if we have that one.”

“WELL, CAN YOU CHECK?”

“Okay.”

*CLICK*

“…DID THE MASH!  It was the MOOOOONSTER MASH! THEY DID THE MASH!  It was a GRAVEYARD SMASH!  THEY DID THE MASH!! It caught on IN A FLASH! THEY DID THE MASH!! They did the MOOOOONSTER MASH! WoooOOOooOOOooOOOooOOO-“

Oh Jesus Christ.”

The zombies were having fun…the party had just begun…”

*CLICK*

“Hi, are you there?  Mister?  Do you have Back To The Future?”

“No.”

“Oh.”

“So…yeah.  Sorry.  Thanks for calling.”

“Uh, yeah.  Bye.”

*CLICK*

And that’s how I got the song from Mulan stuck in my head for three hours.

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5 Comments

Posted by on October 27, 2010 in Uncategorized

 

5 responses to “customer service

  1. Alexandra

    October 27, 2010 at 10:39 am

    This. Is Why. I order EVERYTHING online from now until forever and ever and ever.

     
  2. lisa

    October 27, 2010 at 11:38 am

    Urgh that’s frustrating.

     
  3. Brittney

    October 27, 2010 at 2:53 pm

    ………..ew.

     
  4. Becca

    October 28, 2010 at 5:34 am

    When did customer service turn into customer unservice? Very Frustrating!

     
    • Alexandra

      October 28, 2010 at 7:35 am

      about 20 years ago

       

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