of the genus partnerus domesticalus

11 Oct

Today I have a migraine.

Surprise of the year!  This is big news, people.  Jessica has a migraine.  Alert the media!  This is bigger than the realization that Italy looks like a boot, or that people who claim to ironically love Pokemon really just love Pokemon.

This morning when I woke up at four A.M. (the realization that something was pounding its way out of my skull coming in slow waves) I realized that I had forgotten to write a blog post.  Taylor came in to comfort me in my time of need at eight, and by comfort I mean he brought me pills and a glass of water, and sat there to make sure I would drink the whole thing because I am ten years old and wouldn’t have otherwise.  He fixed the blinds so that the slats pointed up instead of down, to get the room marginally darker, and let me lay in his lap for a little bit so that I could more easily whine about my horrible lot in life.  O, tragedy!  O, woe!  We have enough to eat, jobs that supports us, a roof over our heads, but sometimes I feel yucky.  O, Lord, why hast thou forsaken me?

“Is there anything you want me to do?” Taylor asked, playing with my hair.  I groaned and pulled the blankets up over my head.  “My morning is your morning,” he went on.  “What do you need me to do?”

“Uhhh, you could write a blog post for me,” I said.  “Yeah, that would be great!”

“Like, a guest post?”

“Yeah!  You could write about ‘What To Do When Your Girlfriend Has a Migraine’.  People would love that.  I bet people would really like to hear from you.”

Taylor swallowed thickly and fidgeted.

“Uh, I…n-no, I don’t think so,” he said.

“Why not?  It would be great!”

“I’m shy.”

“Oh, c’mon.  People would be really nice to you.”

“I know, I just…I’m shy.”

I left it there.  The species Taylorus Domesticus is a reserved and retiring creature, and I have no desire to take it out of its natural element.  I like it too much as it is.

Taylor brought me my computer so I could write it myself, so here it is.

Saturday Jane Proudly Presents: What You Should Do When Your Girlfriend Has A Migraine

1.  Anything she tells you to.

This has been: What You Should Do When Your Girlfriend Has A Migraine

Enjoy your evening, and have a pleasant tomorrow.


Posted by on October 11, 2010 in Uncategorized


4 responses to “of the genus partnerus domesticalus

  1. Adri

    October 11, 2010 at 9:19 am

    Geez those buggers are awful. Hope it ends and you’re feeling better soon 😀

  2. rubybastille

    October 11, 2010 at 9:58 am

    Remember that self-deprecating thing? Migraines suck and you are legitimately allowed to complain about them. No one will be like “omg she’s whining about her head again.” Instead, everyone (as evidenced by Adri) will be like “Dude migraines are THE WORST! Feel better soon!”

    So feel better and quit trying not to complain. 🙂

  3. Alexandra

    October 11, 2010 at 10:58 am

    I’m with Ruby. You know that annoying thing people used to say when you’ve lost your job/house/car/spouse: “Well at least you still have your health!”

    It’s kinda true. If you don’t have your good health you cannot work, buy a house, fall in love etc. You just have to lay there in bed all day. Sucks rocks.

    So when you feel better, drink to your health! (but not too much, cos then you’ll just get sick again!

  4. lisa

    October 11, 2010 at 11:34 am

    Ha! Great blog post as always, but sorry to hear that this one was brought to us by a migraine. Hope you feel better soon.


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