07 Jan

You  guys, I have come to a conclusion.

After roughly a week of intensive research, I can say without any shred of doubt that having a healthy lifestyle sucks balls.

Taylor and I made a rather halfhearted resolution to be healthier this year.  This is less a ‘THIS IS THE YEAR WE STOP BUTTERING BREAD” kind of thing, and more of a, “Maybe we should try eating less popcorn chicken,” kind of thing.  We are about a week in, and I am already sick and tired of it.

Every day, I have gone to the gym.  I have gotten on that damn cardiowhatsit and pumped my legs in increasingly awkward motions to get my heart rate up.  I have worn the stretchy pants and run in the sneakers, and worked on my “Oh, me?  Just exercising,” expression.  As of this moment, I am okay with the gym.  It seems like an okay place, and even though my week of sweating profusely hasn’t produced any specific results, I am told that I just have to keep at it.

Okay.  Fair enough.  So I will.

What really exacerbates me is coming home from the gym, opening the freezer, and not finding any Hot Pockets.  What kind of society do we live in, where ‘healthy’ means that I am no longer allowed to eat Hot Pockets, or consume barbeque sauce right out of the bottle?  I’ll tell you what kind of society.

A shitty society.

Full of tofu wraps and brussel sprouts and food that isn’t dyed somehow.  It makes me sick to open our refrigerator and be confronted with tomatoes, lettuce, and fish instead of forty-two cans of Diet Coke.  The high fructose corn syrup is slowly flowing out of my veins, and every morning I wake up a little less saturated with fat and slightly more hydrated than I was the day before.  I tell you, people, it is a meager sort of life to live.

Really, though, it is a step that needs taking.  Taylor and I have always talked about wanting to establish healthier habits before we get married.  We both want to be the sort of people that get a rush from going to the gym, or who crave arugula rather than chili-cheese Fritos.  We want to be able to teach our kids how to exercise and eat properly from Day One, but to do that, we need to be pretty good at it ourselves.

Hopefully, this is the start of something good.  I am relying on my ever-vocal sense of frugality to keep me going to the gym (since I’m paying for it anyway, dadgummet!) and Taylor has so far been my culinary conscience.  If we keep this up, we should have that boundless sort of run-through-the-fields and build-houses-while-laughing-uproariously-at-nothing energy and feeling of goodwill that people in Kashi commercials have.  I’m looking forward to that.

Also?  Looking forward to going up a flight of stairs without needing a breather halfway.

That’s a motivator too.

What about you folks?  Are you doing something different this year, or have you always been healthful little bumblebees?


Posted by on January 7, 2010 in Uncategorized


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15 responses to “arugalagula

  1. Rebekah

    January 7, 2010 at 8:25 pm

    I used to eat a box of Little Debbies in a single sitting. I hid junk food in my underwear drawer, under piles of laundry… and I was deeply depressed.

    The first time I went running, I ran one whole lap and thought I was going to DIE. Seriously.

    It’s hard making healthy choices, but it’s rewarding. It’s neat when your belly doesn’t rest on your lap anymore, when you can run to catch a bus without risking a stroke, when those terrifying statistics about diabetes and obesity are a reminder, not a death threat.

    Be strong, lady! Pretend you’re training for The Big Game or The Big Fight. Or something.

    • Jessica

      January 8, 2010 at 9:58 am

      Aww, Little Debbies, so amazing. I don’t know that I ever did the ‘hiding junkfood’ thing, but I totally did the “oh no, i have to drive for forty minutes, better get a SACK OF DORITOS to eat on the way!”

      Doritos have contributed greatly to my current state.

      I’m glad to hear that you are getting results. It’s an encouraging sort of thing to hear.

    • ck

      January 9, 2010 at 4:17 pm

      Better yet – find something to train for. Many people who are just starting to work out/run/etc. point toward a 5K. It’s 3.1 miles, which I don’t think is too insurmountable of a goal.

  2. Vanessa

    January 7, 2010 at 10:35 pm

    If you just play “Eye of the Tiger” on a loop, you’ll make it. You can do anything when you’ve got Survivor on your side.

    My boyfriend and I are trying to be healthier, too. We’ve become “accountabilibuddies” (yes, South Park reference) in trying to go to the gym 5 times a week, eat less dessert, and choose salads over chili cheese dogs. Oh man, chili cheese dogs. So good. It’s definitely not “fun,” but the results will be totally worth it. Good luck to you and Taylor!

    P.S. I didn’t think I could love you any more, and them you called us all “little bumblebees” and my heart melted.

    • Jessica

      January 8, 2010 at 9:56 am

      Haha! Aww, Vanessa, I couldn’t adore you more if I TRIED. And I don’t have to try, because I already super adore you.

      Awwww, chili cheese dogs. Ever since they appeared as the token favorite food of Sonic The Hedgehog, I have been in love with them. But salads are pretty good too.

      I GUESS.

      And yay for accountabilibuddies! It is nice to have someone to depend on who will get up in your grille if you’re not…well…using your grill. Here’s hoping it IS all worth it!

  3. Brittney

    January 8, 2010 at 12:28 am

    I don’t know about your extreme dieting, but seriously, it does kinda suck. I’ve worked out 3x this week so far and my side effects are: I want to eat healthier (yay!) and I want to eat THREE TIMES the amount of food I normally eat.


    Endless hunger. NEVER ENDING. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS. It is infuriating.

    But yes. I agree with you about the sucky world where eating ketchup out of the bottle is frowned upon. We shall establish a new colony made up of hot pockets and old twinkie wrappers!

    • Jessica

      January 8, 2010 at 9:59 am

      Haha, I haven’t experienced the endless hunger yet. I am obviously not working out hard enough. Thus far I just do cardio for half an hour, though I have a training session this Sunday wherein I may learn to do weights and other things like that.

      Our new colony will be beautiful. We will craft our towers out of Kraft boxes and our rivers will be made of Top Ramen broth. Mmmm, MSG.

  4. Will

    January 8, 2010 at 9:35 am

    I am totally with you. I go to university in Montreal, and it’s one of those universities that make you work as hard as sweat shop children, only instead of building shoes you build a knowledge base.

    That is to say (t.i.t.s.) things like “cooking” and “vegetables” are out of the question. Man do I feel sorry for my vegan friends – they have to cook AND study (AND have a social life if there’s time left).

    What’s worse is healthy food is basically impossible to encounter in Montreal for some reason. The dish Quebec is renown for is “poutine,” an order of french fries with gravy and cheese curds on top. Although I suppose the processed foods are a little less common, the greasy fatty meaty fishy ones are all the f over the place.

    And I LIKE it!

    • Jessica

      January 8, 2010 at 9:54 am

      I have not met you before, but you abbreviated ‘that is to say’ as ‘tits’, and you are therefore my new best friend. 🙂

      Good on you for going to a tough school! Mine was somewhat less so…especially to a person with a talent for getting out of things. Although Quebec sounds utterly fantastic in regards to food. Someday I am going to take a ‘fat vacation’ where I go somewhere to eat terribly, and I will go to Montreal. 🙂

      • Will

        January 8, 2010 at 11:25 pm

        Sorry to butt in! I think I found your blog on a random Google exploration of Star Trek in conjunction with commander Riker (who gets all the sex). I looked at your other entries and decided to include it among my “check every day because I’d rather procrastinate, but also these are awesome” series of bookmarks on my bookmark bar, which are mostly webcomics.

        Anyway, I hope you don’t mind.

  5. sarah

    January 8, 2010 at 11:41 am

    do you listen to music while you exercise? i refuse to go to the gym without my ipod. i just get so bored. it’s good to figure out about what cadence you do your cardio at, and then find some songs with around that cadence so you can try to keep up with the beat. then, it’s kind of like dancing without the “moves.”

    also, i highly recommend two things for relatively healthy eating: salt, and really good salads. See, the whole “fat is flavor” thing is kind of flawed – fat without any salt is really not very flavorful. and less fat with more salt is often just as flavorful as vice versa. i know it’s not healthy in other ways, but salt is really helpful for healthy eating as far as i’m concerned. and also, salads. man, salads can be awesome. you can put corn, peas,carrots, tomatoes, cucumbers, zucchini, radishes, broccoli, cauliflower, beans, tofu, almonds, sunflower seeds, — i mean, i know you know this stuff, but there is so much stuff you can put on them. I particularly like some sundried tomatoes and artichoke hearts, not least because they keep forever. i’ve heard of a diet where you eat oatmeal for breakfast, and two big salads a day — but you can put whatever you want on the salads. see, if you’ve got a big bowlful of veggies and some protein that add up to like 300 calories or something (seriously, veggies are like water and fiber and that’s it), if you put 200 calories worth of the richest ranch dressing you can find on top of it, you’re still on track to have a pretty healthy meal. i don’t eat so healthy lately, but i do know a lot about it, so if you have questions about how to make it better you should let me know!

  6. Julia B

    January 8, 2010 at 9:54 pm

    See, the healthier-eating decision has come somewhat easier to me, since Hot Pockets DO NOT EXIST in Australia. It’s odd. You’ll go into a grocery store, and there’s MAYBE one whole aisle that’s a freezer section, and a lot of that is frozen vegetables and ice cream and stuff. Nowhere near as much quick-fix pre-fab food.

    I find eating healthier doesn’t necessarily mean eating less tasty things, but rather learning how to cook well, and taking the time to cook. Just using fresh ingredients is a good start, though obviously paying attention to calories and fat content, eating lighter or leaner products is also important. But the big moment for me was realising that I could actually cook things that tasted better than pre-fab food. Find some recipes online, or in a cookbook, things you want to try. Make a list of things you need at the store, and try to keep from buying junk food, because if it’s not staring you in the face, you tend to crave it less. Try to cook enough to have leftovers, so that you have something in the fridge or freezer for nights when you’re too tired to cook, so you won’t go running to a fast food joint.

    Good luck!!!

  7. rubybastille

    January 9, 2010 at 11:25 am

    Well, there’s always…Lean Pockets! Just kidding, I’m pretty sure they’re equally full of terrible things.

    Also, arugula is absolutely the best salad green in the world. You made a salad out of it with sliced parmesan and some kind of light vinaigrette, and it’s slightly spicy and flavorful and delicious.

  8. Alice

    January 10, 2010 at 6:22 pm

    I probably should not give tips on healthy eating, because I’m no good at eating salads and I don’t pay real close attention to my calorie intake, but I do have some favorite pretty-healthy (or at least kinda-healthy) foods that I will share:

    – Special K with strawberries. I can seriously eat that for two meals a day. It’s not great on the carbs, but it has all sorts of good vitamins and no fat! I also like Grape Nuts. I put enough honey on them to make them tasty, which may counteract most of the health benefits, but they’re low in fat and high in fiber. Plus you stay full for longer.

    – V8 “V-Fusion” juice. I have a feeling that it’s a little expensive, though I haven’t actually compared it to other juices. But the cool thing is that it has a lot of really tasty flavors, there’s no high-fructose corn syrup or added sugar, and each cup has a full serving of fruit AND a full serving of veggies. I’m not sure how that is possible, but that’s what it says on the bottle so I believe it anyway!

    – “Oh Boy! Oberto” beef jerky. No, really! I mean, it’s not amazing for you, but it’s a lot healthier than it sounds. The biggest problem is the amount of sodium (470mg – yikes) and the fact that the serving size is only an ounce (it’s high-protein, so an ounce goes a long way, but I still WANT to eat more). Since I tend to eat pretty carb-heavily, a snack that has lots of protein without toooooo many detriments is a relatively good option.

    So those are my sketchy health food recommendations 🙂 Good luck on your quest!


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