- Last night I dreamt that in a brawl with Mexican gangsters, my arm got cut up like a spiral ham by a poison knife. I was trying to get David Bowie to patch it up while I was participating in a series of races and obstacles he set up to find a sidekick, but we kept getting interrupted by the mutant Mystique who had also gotten cut by a poison knife. The poison made her think she was a housewife, and she would kill people if they didn’t let her hug them. I am trying to connect this dream to something, but all I can come up with is the Little Caesar’s pizza I ate that night.
- People have been keeping my spirits up at work with a series of excellent texts. Brittney sends me the lyrics to Flight of the Conchords’ ‘Prince Of Parties’, while Tess updates me about the trials of nannying young boys. Yesterday’s message: “I’ve come to the conclusion that Pokemon early in the morning is too positive. It’s like rather than being woken up by an alarm clock, I’m being beaten awake by sportsmanship.”
- I have discovered the use of Pandora, the internet radio site, while I am at work. This has changed my day entirely. It has also introduced me to Lily Allen and Mika, who have both enriched my existence.
- Yesterday I played Mario Kart for the first time in several months. It was like applying a gentle salve to an open wound.
- At work, my office has a window with a beautiful view into a common area for all the building’s businesses. I get to watch people take their lunch breaks and stare morosely into the distance as they eat their prepackaged sandwiches. Slightly obscured, behind a concrete pillar, is a statue of a beaver. Because of the angle of this beaver, it is CONSTANTLY STARING AT ME. More news on this as it develops.