19 Apr

So, today I am sick.

It’s been looming for a couple of days.  It began with a throat tickle, then screaming sore throat, and today, sinus headache, congestion, cough, sore throat, and ever-thrilling vomiting spells.  After dropping Brittney off after this weekend’s visit, I flew into a Fred Meyer and stalked up and down the aisles, trying to find something to help.  Finally, I encountered a slack-jawed young woman with gum in her mouth and a black choker clinging to her throat.

Me:  ‘Scuse me…

Wannabe Goth: Yeaaah?

Me:  I’m looking for medicine.  Can you tell me where the medicine aisle is?

Wannabe Goth:  You mean like, the pharmacyyy?

Me:  Uh, no.  I mean more like the non-prescription medications.  For a cold or flu or whatever.

Wannabe Goth:  *looks me up and down*  You got a cold?

Me:  I’m not sure.  I got something.

Wannabe Goth:  Oh.

Wannabe Goth:  Well, the pharmacy is down there by the bathroooooom.  It says ‘pharmacy’.

Me:  Yeah, I saw the pharmacy.  But there’s just condoms and stuff over on the racks over there, and I –

Wannabe Goth:  Were you looking for condoms?

Me:  NO I WAS NOT LOOKING I wasn’t looking for condoms, no.  I’m looking for cold medication.  Just regular, like, Tylenol or Dayquil or whatever.  Do you know where that is?

Wannabe Goth:  You looked at the pharmacy?

Me:  Yes.  I looked at the pharmacy.

Wannabe Goth:  And it wasn’t there?

Me:  It wasn’t there.

By this point a small stream of snot had begun dribbling down my lip, and my hands were quivering.  The throbbing sinus headache had begun to obscure my good judgement.

Wannabe Goth: And you want like, Tylenooool?

Me:  I really really do.

Wannabe Goth:  *stares at my shaking hands*  I don’t know if we have any.

Me:  Are you serious.  You don’t think you have Tylenol.

Wannabe Goth:  Not like, non prescriptioooon.

Me:  You don’t get prescription Tylenol.  People don’t prescribe that.  Because it’s TYLENOL.

Wannabe Goth:  No, they DIDN’T prescribe it, but then people started making meth with it, so now you need a prescription for it.  You should check the pharmacy.

Me:  That’s not Tylenol.  You mean Sudafed or something.  No, not Sudafed, it starts with an S…maybe it is Sudafed.  It’s not Tylenol, though.  I’m totally sure that you don’t need a prescription for Tylenol.

I sniff violently and twitch a bit.

Wannabe Goth:  Let me ask my managerrrr.


Wannabe Goth:  Yeah.  It’s called a pharmacy.


Posted by on April 19, 2009 in Life


Tags: ,

6 responses to “sick

  1. Sal

    April 20, 2009 at 6:46 am

    TELL me this ended with you successfully purchasing some DayQuil.

    • saturdayjane

      April 20, 2009 at 10:59 am

      I had the chance to get DayQuil. i got Tylenol out of SPITE. 😉

  2. Vanessa

    April 20, 2009 at 8:54 am

    Oh lord help me. That’s all I can say to this. And then sigh at the sheer incompetence of it all.

    • saturdayjane

      April 20, 2009 at 11:00 am

      I think, looking back on it, that she was actually a cart-girl that I had thrown into the realm of customer service. Being a former representative of Mass Retail, I can relate.

      Still though, chick thought I was out to make me some meth. That is WRONG.

  3. lisa

    April 20, 2009 at 12:03 pm

    I did customer service retail for about 4 years, and that pretty much eliminated any tolerance I had for crap service (of which this is a prime example). 😛

  4. Lesley Denford

    April 20, 2009 at 1:28 pm

    Oh wow. I love when customer service people have THE WORST CUSTOMER SERVICE SKILLS. Hope you’re feeling better. 🙂


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