Dear College Professor,
Please consider this an official Notice Of Spite.
It has come to my attention that you conscientiously refuse to acknowledge the existence of Spring Break. We would like to remind you that Spring Break is a commonly accepted Calenderial Event. It is employed by the school system in a careful attempt to prevent pressured Creative Writing majors from going completely round the bend and smashing in every windshield on campus with a garden hoe while singing “Don’t Stop Believing” and barking at innocent bystanders. Thus far, it has proved a worthwhile addition to the college schedule.
In choosing to assign ten hours of work during the Spring Break period, we can only assume that you are enacting a passive objection to Spring Break by simply refusing to use the time for its intended purpose. In fact, by assigning specifically ten hours of work (the amount of time you recommended spending on this particular assignment) you have officially exceeded the number of hours normally spent in your classroom per week. In addition to the complaints produced by the time commitment, we are also disturbed by the nature of the assignment. After scrutinizing your syllabus and the grading criteria, we are unable to discern any real academic merit or purpose behind it. It is unconscionable that you would voice your disagreements with a scheduled recess in this manner.
After great consideration, we hereby refuse to acknowledge your non-acknowledgement of Spring Break.
Put simply, I am refusing to do your bullshit busywork assignment on principle. Stick it, lady.