Dear Argyle Slip-Ons

12 Mar

Dear Argyle Slip-Ons,

Baby, I miss you.

We had something so beautiful. What happened, Argyle Slip-Ons? We spent everyday together. I loved you more than anything. I loved you more than Ugly Flannel. I loved you more than Torn-Hem Jeans. I even…I think I even loved you more than Sexy Boots. You were just so flexible! I took you everywhere, and we did everything, and through it all, you were there for me. You always supported me, no matter what I went to do.

Maybe that was our failing. I depended too much on you, and that wasn’t fair of me. It was all take take take, Argyle Slip-Ons! I never took the time to see what you needed. How could I walk all over you for so long, and never see the damage I was causing? After all that time, after I had worn you down, you couldn’t be what either of us needed. There’s a hole in your sole, Argyle Slip-Ons.

I’m sorry for what I did to you. I don’t think you’ll ever be able to be with anyone else. I used you up, I threw you away and abandoned you for Sexy Boots, who, incidentally, after a long night, just leave me feeling sore and used up. Maybe that’s how I made you feel, Argyle Slip-Ons. Used. I understand it now. You were always with me, through thick and thin, rain and shine, no matter what. I wish we could have been together forever, but ultimately, it couldn’t last. You just couldn’t keep giving like you did. Eventually it would have torn you apart, and then you’d be like your cheap, clingy cousin, Four Dollar Flip-Flops. Is that what you want?

I’m just qualifying my decision now. It had to be done, I know that. It was over. You were an empty shell. You had nothing left. I’m just sorry it had to end like it did, but I’ve never forgotten you, Argyle Slip-Ons. Every day when I wake up to Plaid Sneakers, I get this funny little ache inside and I can’t help but remember the way it felt to be with you. I miss you so much. I wish everyday that I had you back, that it could be like it was in the beginning, when you were so full of life and vigor, when you had your whole self to give to me.

But those days are gone, Argyle Slip-On. The shoe I miss is dead. You’re a shadow of what you once were.

And it’s my fault.

I’m sorry, Argyle Slip-On. I’ll always have a place for you in my heart.

Love, Jessica


Posted by on March 12, 2009 in Letters


Tags: ,

8 responses to “Dear Argyle Slip-Ons

  1. Vanessa

    March 12, 2009 at 8:52 pm

    This is really silly, but I definitely feel a little heartbroken after that letter. I feel ya.

    • saturdayjane

      March 14, 2009 at 5:56 pm

      I felt a little drained myself after writing it. Reliving all that pain! πŸ˜‰ Made me want to listen to Coldplay and drunkdial my shoes. πŸ˜€

  2. Brittney

    March 13, 2009 at 4:11 am

    Gawsh I miss those slip-ons, too! hahaa.

    • saturdayjane

      March 14, 2009 at 5:57 pm

      They were good shoes, while they lasted.

  3. Lunch Bag Art

    March 13, 2009 at 7:36 am

    Hola Ms. SaturdayJane.

    Thanks for linking to my site! I first found yours via a friend in the 2d animation field; she agreed with your post on the heinous “A Woman’s World.”

    Anyway thanks for the link and for being funny, and sorry about your footwear.

    • MyNameIsNotTrev.

      March 13, 2009 at 11:59 pm

      Haha I love this! I had a very similar relationship with my black No Sweat hi-tops and now we see each other on a strict only-when-its-a-very-clear-day-with-no-chance-of-rain-or-puddles basis.

      Loving your blog by the way, you’re hilarious!

      • saturdayjane

        March 14, 2009 at 5:46 pm

        Thank you so much! I really appreciate it!

        I’m discovering that everyone has that one clothing item that got away, that they just totally wore to the bone and can’t truly replace. Sad day! Possibly we should just learn the fine art of shoe repair. πŸ˜‰

    • saturdayjane

      March 14, 2009 at 5:55 pm

      Oh, my goodness, it’s really exciting that somebody referred you to me. Thanks for checking my blog out! And I’m glad your friend in animation agreed with me about A Woman’s World, which is frankly just an insulting ad maneuver.

      I was more than happy to link to you. Your artwork is wonderful and whimsical and everytime you post, I call all my roommates over to see. πŸ™‚


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