Dear Argyle Slip-Ons,
Baby, I miss you.
We had something so beautiful. What happened, Argyle Slip-Ons? We spent everyday together. I loved you more than anything. I loved you more than Ugly Flannel. I loved you more than Torn-Hem Jeans. I even…I think I even loved you more than Sexy Boots. You were just so flexible! I took you everywhere, and we did everything, and through it all, you were there for me. You always supported me, no matter what I went to do.
Maybe that was our failing. I depended too much on you, and that wasn’t fair of me. It was all take take take, Argyle Slip-Ons! I never took the time to see what you needed. How could I walk all over you for so long, and never see the damage I was causing? After all that time, after I had worn you down, you couldn’t be what either of us needed. There’s a hole in your sole, Argyle Slip-Ons.
I’m sorry for what I did to you. I don’t think you’ll ever be able to be with anyone else. I used you up, I threw you away and abandoned you for Sexy Boots, who, incidentally, after a long night, just leave me feeling sore and used up. Maybe that’s how I made you feel, Argyle Slip-Ons. Used. I understand it now. You were always with me, through thick and thin, rain and shine, no matter what. I wish we could have been together forever, but ultimately, it couldn’t last. You just couldn’t keep giving like you did. Eventually it would have torn you apart, and then you’d be like your cheap, clingy cousin, Four Dollar Flip-Flops. Is that what you want?
I’m just qualifying my decision now. It had to be done, I know that. It was over. You were an empty shell. You had nothing left. I’m just sorry it had to end like it did, but I’ve never forgotten you, Argyle Slip-Ons. Every day when I wake up to Plaid Sneakers, I get this funny little ache inside and I can’t help but remember the way it felt to be with you. I miss you so much. I wish everyday that I had you back, that it could be like it was in the beginning, when you were so full of life and vigor, when you had your whole self to give to me.
But those days are gone, Argyle Slip-On. The shoe I miss is dead. You’re a shadow of what you once were.
And it’s my fault.
I’m sorry, Argyle Slip-On. I’ll always have a place for you in my heart.