Dear A Woman’s World,
I get what you’re trying to do. You’re trying to buddy up to me with your animated web series, trying to get me to buy your delicious, delicious veggie chips, but it’s not working. You assume you know me, A Woman’s World, but you don’t.
Yes, I’m a woman.
No, I don’t have a skinny mirror. No, I don’t cry when my hair stylist leaves town. No, I don’t bat my eyelashes at every guy with a nice figure. No, I don’t bat my eyelashes, PERIOD. I don’t count calories like I’m dying. I don’t push away my screaming chlidren. I don’t get off on my cell phone’s vibration setting, and I don’t use a goddamn thighmaster. I’m a woman, not a moron, thank you very much, and apparently A Woman’s World is populated only with asshats and self-centered douchebags.
If you’re going to claim to represent woman of every size, shape and color (which I’m assuming you do, with your very politically correct blonde woman, black woman, asian woman, and redhead) then maybe take a second to actually learn about what women do.
A great woman is creative, funny, resourceful, brilliant, and giving. She sets out to do what is important to her, and doesn’t let anything stop her. Maybe she’s a stellar stay-at-home mom. Maybe she’s the owner of her own small business. Maybe she’s president of a global company or founder of a charity. A Woman’s World is about optimism and pushing towards the future and acknowledging every part of ourselves and how it makes us beautiful and meaningful and worthy of our own ambitions.
It’s not about being fat and chasing husbands.
So get your shit together, A Woman’s World. I may buy your veggie chips, but only because they are VERY VERY DELICIOUS. You don’t represent me or any of the dazzling, powerful women I know.
Figure it out.
PS: I know you’re a cartoon. Yes, I am probably taking you too seriously.
PPS: SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT CANKLES.