I am an Oregonian who hates rain.
For those of you who aren’t well acquainted with the Beaver States, let me give you some context. Being an Oregonian who hates rain is like being an Alaskan who hates snow, or a motorcyclist who hates leather. It’s like saying, “God, I love having a beard. Too bad it comes with all this damned facial hair.”
I feel pressured to say this especially today. We had a beautiful weekend, sun, a breeze, that sort of crisp yelp in the air says, “You may have sun, but I’m Winter, bitch, and I ain’t fuckin’ done yet.” Granted, I spent most of it indoors playing Sonic Unleashed (he’s a werewolf in this one) but I could look outside and see the blue sky stretching out over campus like some glorious symbol of optimism.
Today? NOT SO MUCH.
Rain started early this morning and pelted the entire city (the entire city meaning from my campus to the Wal-Mart on the highway) leaving the sidewalks flooded. Everyone stomped bitterly around in their galoshes. Some people, mostly the Californians, busted out the umbrellas. I myself wore a coat and my unbridled hate for any sort of precipitation. Every time I go out into the rain I get a little grouchier, a bit frownier. Sort of like Dorian Grey, I suppose, if all of my aggression and terrible deeds showed on my face when I was forced to walk twenty feet in a downpour. I’m sure I scare the freshmen.
Also, whenever anybody says the word ‘umbrella’, I have to resist the urge to shout, “ELLA. ELLA. EH. EH. EH.”
This is entirely because any pop culture savvy I have is constantly about two years behind. If you think that ‘umbrella’ thing was funny, I have this hilarious ‘Numa Numa’ video to show you.
Laura and I are considering going to see Coraline tonight. If the weather keeps up though, my time may be better spent sitting inside, glaring at nature.